From the Inside Out

Autumn's blog

Grandmother’s Flirting Tips December 3, 2009

I was on the phone yesterday with my Mamaw and she decided to give me flirting tips to help me get married.  I couldn’t help but laugh as she proceeded to tell me how to get a man.  She even demonstrated how the conversation should go!  I made sure to take mental notes of the convo through my laughter. 

1. “You have to get out there and sell yourself.  Have you ever heard of that honey?”  No, she wasn’t recommending prostitution.  She was basically saying that I should not go out without my makeup on and that I need to always look presentable in order “to get a guy.”  She told me that I need to look nice to get the right attention.  Dude!  That means no more Aeropostale sweat pants!? 

2.  “You can ask him what he’s been up to and when he says… blah blah…. then you say well, I do that too… why don’t we do that together?”  lol!  My Mamaw was actually giving me vocabulary to use for the conversation that I should be having with my future husband. 

3.  “You can’t be shy honey, just go talk to the guys, get out there and mingle.  I know you’re shy when it comes to boys, you always have been.”  Apparently she knows me better than I thought.  Great.  I am shy when it comes to guys, especially if I really like them, then it’s even worse.  I usually clam up and say the wrong thing.  Ok… so she has a good point here. 

4.  “Are you getting out more and being sociable and getting to know new people?”  To this, I honestly answered yes!  I am very sociable.  I get out a lot and do things with friends and meet new people.  I still struggle with being a little shy though.  Oh well. 

5.  “Do you talk to any of the guys you know?  How often are you around them?”  I’m around them enough. I truly believe in chivalry and that a man should do the pursuing.  If a guy is interested, he just needs to say something.  My Mamaw apparently thinks this slows down the process. 

6.  “I know you’re not in a hurry, you don’t want just anybody and that’s good.  You’ll pick a good one and he’ll be lucky to have you.”    :-)  

“Thanks Mamaw.”

 

Does God change? Part II November 24, 2009

Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man that He should lie or change His mind…” 

Numbers 22-23 is the story of Balaam and Balak and their plot to curse Israel.  Balaam is known as an evil, money-loving prophet.  Balaam was rash in his decisions, he loved money and God actually calls him perverse as he runs toward evil trying to curse Israel despite multiple warnings.  In chapter 22 we see Balak, king of the Moabites, hears about Balaam, the “rent-a-prophet” and he hears that he can put blessings and cursings on people and it will come to pass.  He wants to put a curse over Israel so that the Moabites can defeat them in battle.  In order to get Balaam to prophesy for you, you had to pay a service fee.  He reminds me of a creepy TV evangelist.  We see that Balaam cares more about money than he does about God’s will.  Balaam is approached by Balak’s men and he let’s them stay the night so he can pray about it.  Pray about what?  He’s praying whether or not it’s ok to curse God’s people!  Seriously?!   He may have some spiritual gift here but he’s obviously not sincerely seeking God’s will.   In vs. 9-12, God warns Balaam to have nothing to do with these men.  God tells Balaam “you shall not go with them, you shall not curse the people for they are blessed.”  God reminds Balaam that He has blessed them and the covenant cannot be broken.  Balaam comes back to the men and tells them “the Lord has refused to give me permission to go with you.”   It’s like saying “my dad says I can’t go but I want to.”   In other words, he can be persuaded, and that’s exactly how the men took his answer because we see that they went back to Balak with the message and he sends wealthier men to persuade him.  Balaam entertains their offer a second time after God already told him no.  Why is he doing this?  This dude is greedy and I can’t even imagine what his prayers are like to God’s ears. 

In vs. 20-21 we see God change his way by allowing Balaam to go with the men, but God was angry with him.  God had just previously told him to have nothing to do with these men.  Is this unfair?  No.  God already warned Balaam and he consistently rejected God’s answer.  He kept pushing for the answer he wanted because of greed.  Balaam has free will and he makes his own choices, as we all do, and this ties in with God’s permissible will.  God doesn’t want him to have anything to do with these men, but God changes His way as a reaction to Balaam’s poor choices and allows him to go.   Does this mean that God is going to break His covenant with Israel and allow this evil prophet to curse the nation?  Absolutely not.  God never breaks a promise/covenant, He never goes against His word.  God’s character does not change, who He is does not change, but He does change His ways or His decisions because it’s a reaction to our free will.  When God changes it is always a response/reaction to His people, whether that be His reaction to a prayer, to our repentance, or when He regretted making Saul king over Israel (1 Sam 15:35) because of Saul’s poor choices… it’s always a reaction.  It’s not because God is indecisive, but more so because we have free will, we make good choices and bad choices, and He reacts to our decisions, to our changes.  Even with our choice to sin and be disobedient, God may be angry with us for sin, but He changes from anger to showing us compassion when we repent…. and that is a change that does not contradict anything in scripture or of His character, but in fact, it only proves Him more true.

In vs. 22-27 we see that an angel of the Lord meets Balaam on the road as he is on his way to meet Balak.  The angel has his sword drawn ready to kill him, the donkey freaks out because she sees the angel and Balaam loses his temper and beats her three times.  In this conversation, it seems as if the donkey is very wise and that God is using her to speak to Balaam.  Unfortunately, Balaam won’t listen.  In vs. 31-35 the angel says to Balaam, “turn around and go back now because your way is perverse (running towards evil).”  We see that the angel of the Lord has his sword drawn trying to get Balaam to turn around, yet Balaam says “if it displeases You, I will turn back.”  IF?  He’s questioning?  He’s still trying to persuade God to give a different answer.  Seriously Balaam?  There’s an angel in front of you with a sword drawn ready to kill you and you’re questioning.  Really?  This dude is stubborn!  Again, God allows him to go but it says “God was angry with him.”  He’s allowing Balaam to fall to his own sin because he has already rejected God so many times.  Most theologians believe this is judgement on Balaam unless he repents.   Balaam meets Balak, king of the Moabites, and I’m thinking he was probably really excited to see him because he’s expecting Balaam to put a curse on the people and help him win the battle.  Balaam tells him “I will try but this is not in my hands, but in God’s hands” – as if to say ”if I fail, (which I’m thinking I will because God already said no) I blame God.”  Balaam does try to curse Israel, as he repeatively goes back and forth trying to get a different answer from God so he can finish the job he’s paid for.  He bosses Balak around, he even gets Balak to build altars, at Balak’s expense, not his, although he does take credit for it.  Where does he think he has this authority?  God never told him to do that!

Most theologians have agreed there is a difference in God’s permissable will and His sovereign/providential will.  When talking about God’s sovereign will, it applies to things that happen no matter what, things that we can not change, we don’t have to fast and pray to make it happen, but God will do it regardless.  This includes creation, the promise of a Savior - a fulfillment of Old Testament prophesies, God’s covenant with Israel and the promise of our Lord’s return and the new earth.  God made a covenant with Israel and Balaam cannot curse Israel because God has not cursed Israel.  God can and does use people to fulfill His sovereign will.  For example, we see God use Mary to fulfill the promise of a Savior and we see Abraham used to fulfill the promise He made with Israel.  God’s permissible will applies to things such as who we choose to marry, our degrees, careers and the schools we attend… or when we choose to take a job helping a king kill off God’s chosen people.  These are things we choose, we can seek His wisdom and He will direct us, but ultimately it’s our choices (our free will).  We make good choices and bad choices.  (more…)

 

Grateful I Didn’t Marry You November 14, 2009

Have you ever dated someone and they broke your heart?  Have you ever felt like in that moment, your world was flipped upside down and you worry if you’ll ever meet anyone as good as they were?  Have you ever felt completely rejected?   Almost everyone has at some point in dating.  I’ve never been serious with anyone in dating.  It’s just never gotten to that point.  I’m truly grateful for that.  I used to feel like that happened because something was wrong with me.  I now see that as a blessing in my life.  I believe God was protecting me from those relationships becoming serious when they weren’t supposed to.  I can’t even imagine how much hurt I would have felt had any of them continued.  I look back at those relationships now and smile when I used to cry.  I see the hand of God protecting me for future plans, as there is something so much better that He has in store for me.  Now I laugh at how things ended and I honestly just smile at the disappointments I once cried over. 

I recently noticed that an old boyfriend of mine will probably get married soon… again.  He pursued me persistently for about 6 months before I even gave him the time of day.  I thought he was too old for me and I had no interest… at first.  At the time he was 27 and I was 19.   I was young and vulnerable.  When I went off to college we hadn’t been dating long and over a few phone calls, he begged me to come home to see him on Labor Day weekend since we had an extra day off.  Since I had a little extra money in my wimpy, little bank account, I did it.  I flew home to see him and that weekend he broke up with me.  Pretty dirty huh?  He also said he would pay for the plane ticket which he never did.   After we broke up, he dated two more girls but only became serious with one of them.  The two girls after me were 17 and 18.  Apparently, he likes the girls so young they aren’t even fully developed yet.  It’s gross!  They weren’t even out of high school.  A couple months after we broke up, I remember laying out by the pool with a mutual friend of his, she just happens to mention that was married before!  She thought I already knew… uhhhhh NO!  I had no idea!  I felt so deceived… he had never told me that.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.   (more…)