Dominican Republic February 3, 2010

I will be going to Dominican Republic this Friday, February 5-14.  I’m so excited!  First of all, I’ve never been on a medical missions trip, and secondly I’ve never been on a missions trip outside of the country. Yay!  Well, I’ve been to South America but it was to study international business.  This is my first official international missions trip!  

The closer it gets, the more excited I get… and I also realize how I’m not quite ready either.  Eeekkk!  I still need to get more scrubs, supplies and snack foods to take with me.  There’s so much to finish up here with work, bills and other monthly errands that I have to catch up on before I go.  

We will have a dental clinic, vision center and a pharmacy.  Last year, the team saw over 3,000 people.  That amazes me!  Just to be able to serve that many with medical attention that they may not get otherwise and to share the gospel with them!  I love it!  Since the earthquake in Haiti, we’ve had lots of questions about if we’re helping the Haitians.  The clinic for the DR has been promised for months now so we will be going there, however we will probably see Haitians.  As we’ve all seen on the news, they are already crossing over into the DR.  Hopefully we can minister and work with them as well. 

Our team is preparing mentally, physically and spiritually for this mission.  Our minds should be focused and ready.  Our bodies need rest and we pray for good health and protection.  Our spirits should be encouraged daily as we seek God and allow Him to speak to our hearts.  I pray that we honor God with the work that has been given to us – as we are just vessels willing to be used.  I pray that we would be a blessing to the Dominicans and be able to reach them with the gospel.  This is not a trip that can be done on our own, for we are only human beings.  We are made from dirt just like everyone else and we can not rely on our own strength to accomplish the tasks we have ahead.  However, God is God and I pray He pray He does an awesome work through us for His glory. 

Andrew Murrary said, “We have a God who delights in impossibilities and who asks, “Is anything too hard for me?”  (Jeremiah 32:27)

I am loved January 28, 2010

So last night, I went to this amazing worship gathering in Charlotte called Charlotte One.  We had Jarrett Stevens as our guest speaker.  I love it when he preaches, he’s such a blessing!  He does a wonderful job!  He’s also hilarious, which makes him great to listen to especially for those that have the attention span of a 3 year old… like me.  The sermon was very basic to the Christian faith, but SO encouraging!  It was truly an amazing message!

He talked about how we place our identity in what we do, forgetting who we are, forgetting that we are loved by God.  People introduce themselves and usually the next question is “what do you do?”  It’s common to place our identity in our careers.   Jarrett talked about how new Christians are really excited about scripture and sometimes they have what may seem like simple questions about faith and salvation.  Sometimes, for those that have been saved for years, we laugh at the simple questions and the excessive joy, when in reality, that shouldn’t just be new Christians, but with all believers!  We should all be like that!  I guess when someone is a newby, it’s fresh on their mind – knowing exactly where they came from, the grace of God and the forgiveness of the cross.   Why do Christians forget who they are?  Why do we ”grow out of that” as we “mature” in the faith?  We forget that we are loved.  We forget that we are children of the most High God!  We have so easily forgotten that He cares and loves us unconditionally… it’s something we know but it’s just in the back of our minds, not our focus, not our constant joy as it was in the beginning. 

This has challenged me to walk a new walk… not the pimp walk or the butt walk (only for you Chas).  This has challenged my faith walk.  On a daily basis, I really let my boss get to me.  My feelings get hurt and I allow her words affect, even control how I see myself.  AHHH!  NO!  Why do I do that?   In reality, it doesn’t matter… because I am loved.  I AM LOVED.  I am loved by God and favored by Him!  He has blessed me because He loves me!  He forgives me because He loves me!  It’s not something I’ve earned or can lose.  He loves me unconditionally!!!  THAT makes me happy!  THAT gives me joy!!!   

So… to those people in my life that have degraded me and treated me as less than the child of God that I am… I rebuke that.  I rebuke your words of hate, spitefulness and jealousy.  I am a child of God.  I am a child of GOD!  Who cares what you see me as?!  Seriously?  You think your opinion really matters or changes my identity!  Heck-to-the-No!  AND I hate that I have believed you for so long, I hate how foolish I’ve been to allow your words to affect me for SO long. 

I forgive you… to the men and women (mainly women) in my life that have belittled me and treated me as if I were less than.  I forgive your words, your foolishness, your jealousy, your harsh jokes and your spitefulness.  I’m over it.  Enough is enough.  God tells me to love you and forgive you, as I have been forgiven.  So that’s it.  I am choosing to forgive and move on.  It’s not doing me any good holding a grudge.  In fact, it shows a lack of maturity on my part.  I need to move on.  I have been foolish, immature and unforgiving… but that needs to change.   

I heard someone say that ‘if you haven’t forgotten something, then you haven’t forgiven it.’  I completely disagree.  I am choosing to forgive but my memory works just fine… for the most part.  I can choose to forgive, I don’t believe I can consciously choose to forget.  Choosing to forgive doesn’t mean that we need to renew the friendship, make up and be best friends.  This is not a “Full House” moment where we hug it out and go get icecream.  This is somewhat of a selfish moment actually – see I’m choosing to forgive for my own well-being and it feels wonderful!  If I choose to not forgive, I disobey Christ when He tells me to love my neighbor as myself.  If I don’t forgive, not only do I hurt myself, but it hurts God when I am directly disobeying His Word. 

My entire life it seems like every few years there’s some woman that comes into my life usually disguised as a friend.  They are insecure with who they are, they don’t recognize their own self-worth, so they bully those that will allow them to in order to make themselves feel better.  I apparently have let them run all over me as they spitefully run my self-esteem into the ground.  Some of these women are Christians – shocker?  Yeah, don’t be.  I’m not surprised… unfortunately.  I hate it, but I’ve seen it way too often. 

I’m not held accountable for their actions, but I am held accountable for myself.  We all have to face God one day… I wonder what He will say about me?  Do I really live my life in a way that shows Christ?  Do I love enough?  I’d have to say no.  Do I walk with God everyday in worship, with my mind focused on Him?  I try, but fail miserably everyday.  Do I forget who I am in Christ?  Yes!  Everyday.  I have allowed my circumstances to affect my attitude and question my identity! 

If I am a child of the most High God, why don’t I act like it?  Why do I get upset and believe the things people say about me?  Why don’t I stand up for myself?   When I allow their words to affect me, I’m the one who becomes angry and hurt.   They could care less.  It’s my choice.  Why do I walk in fear when I should be walking in the Spirit of God, courageous and with my head held high.  As my best friend and I used to say as a joke…”Don’t you know who I am?!”   

This is the scripture that’s been on my mind.  So powerful!  Powerful words.

Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation–but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.  -Romans 8:15-17

Grandmother’s Flirting Tips December 3, 2009

I was on the phone yesterday with my Mamaw and she decided to give me flirting tips to help me get married.  I couldn’t help but laugh as she proceeded to tell me how to get a man.  She even demonstrated how the conversation should go!  I made sure to take mental notes of the convo through my laughter. 

1. “You have to get out there and sell yourself.  Have you ever heard of that honey?”  No, she wasn’t recommending prostitution.  She was basically saying that I should not go out without my makeup on and that I need to always look presentable in order “to get a guy.”  She told me that I need to look nice to get the right attention.  Dude!  That means no more Aeropostale sweat pants!? 

2.  “You can ask him what he’s been up to and when he says… blah blah…. then you say well, I do that too… why don’t we do that together?”  lol!  My Mamaw was actually giving me vocabulary to use for the conversation that I should be having with my future husband. 

3.  “You can’t be shy honey, just go talk to the guys, get out there and mingle.  I know you’re shy when it comes to boys, you always have been.”  Apparently she knows me better than I thought.  Great.  I am shy when it comes to guys, especially if I really like them, then it’s even worse.  I usually clam up and say the wrong thing.  Ok… so she has a good point here. 

4.  “Are you getting out more and being sociable and getting to know new people?”  To this, I honestly answered yes!  I am very sociable.  I get out a lot and do things with friends and meet new people.  I still struggle with being a little shy though.  Oh well. 

5.  “Do you talk to any of the guys you know?  How often are you around them?”  I’m around them enough. I truly believe in chivalry and that a man should do the pursuing.  If a guy is interested, he just needs to say something.  My Mamaw apparently thinks this slows down the process. 

6.  “I know you’re not in a hurry, you don’t want just anybody and that’s good.  You’ll pick a good one and he’ll be lucky to have you.”     

“Thanks Mamaw.”